Reflections
by aykayem
Summary: 100 drabbles on various themes, narrated by Kurogane and Fay over their time together. AU. Slash, implied slash, violence, spoilers, etc.
1. Introduction:: Rain

Challenge: 1 – Introduction

_Rain_

It was raining that day I met you.

It's the one thing that connected us before we even met. I still believe that.

You glared at me, with a growl, and did the same for the others. I glanced to you blankly, with the eyes that would continue to glance at you whenever I thought you weren't looking. Though you always would be. I knew that from the first glance.

Did I love you then?

I don't know that anyone could really say. I know that I certainly couldn't. But after that single introduction, I realised that I would, eventually.


	2. Love:: Foolish

Challenge: 2 -- Love

_Foolish_

When I met him, I didn't believe in love. At least, not his version.

You see, his idea of love was a fairy tale. Something that couldn't possibly exist in reality, and especially not mine.

Love isn't ideal, nor does it come at the right time. It occurs between two people, often with one rejecting the other. Dying from heartbreak also doesn't happen, regardless of what he tells me. He's just a fool, after all.

Time passes and I'm starting to believe in his idea of love. With my own little modifications, of course.

He's such a fool. My fool.


	3. Light:: Weather

Challenge: 3 -- Light

_Weather_

My favourite type of day is those bright, sunny days with nary a cloud in the sky. They're rare, especially when you travel as much as I do, but when they come along, they're certainly something to enjoy.

I sit there with you, on that soft, grassy knoll, as the sun smiles its light down upon us. I know you're asleep, but I don't mind. Any time spent with you by my side is time well spent.

I lie beside you, close my eyes, and curl against your bulkier mass lovingly. It's a perfect time for a catnap, after all.


	4. Dark:: Creatures

Challenge: 4 -- Dark

_Creatures_

It's so dark here without you, without that light you seem to glow with. I never noticed it before, but now – in your absence – I seem to notice more than ever. It feels like I'm being swallowed by a creature whole and alive, though being tortured by an iron maiden at the same time.

Pain shoots through my body again, and I shut my eyes, thinking only of you. It should have been easy to leave you behind.

I was always told to love with caution. To love hesitantly.

When I met you, I threw all that to the wind.


	5. Seeking Solace:: Nightmares

Challenge: 5 -- Seeking Solace

_Nightmares_

Tears ran down my face as I silently buried my face into your chest. It was almost funny, how not too long ago, I wouldn't dare drop my smile around you, but now I find myself being consoled by you.

It's just a nightmare, you tell me. I'm almost inclined to believe you. After all, you too have seen horrors unlike any other. If anyone were to speak, as if from experience, it would be you.

You rub my back and dry my tears, and I lie, drained, in your arms for a moment or two. It seems so nice.


	6. Break Away:: Escape

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 6 -- Break Away

Escape 

I had to get out.

I couldn't stay, not with them like that. The others were already dead, leaving me to my own devices. Without that idiot to protect, and my own life to worry about, Tomoyo's damned spell was dispelled from my mind. I killed indiscriminately, paying no heed to my quickly lessening strength and endurance.

Before I even realised, the bodies had piled up around me, spilling their blood into the ground. I knew now that nothing would grow, just as my heart was now barren. With their deaths, especially that of the blond, came my own death.


	7. Heaven:: Bliss

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 7 -- Heaven

Bliss 

It was so breathtaking to lie in your arms like that. We've been so busy, we haven't had the time lately. And I know I've come to quite enjoy the feeling of your limbs around my slight form, holding me tight to your build, just as I know you've come to enjoy the way I lean to you, brushing your ears and cheeks with my lips, and the way I whisper just so to you. You smile, a rare thing for you to do, and a wisp of a grin tugs at my mouth. They could just never understand us.


	8. Innocence:: Naivete

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 8 -- Innocence

Naivete 

He's just so damned naïve. Or he acts like it, at the very least. I know he's not really like that. He never would have made it this far with a head like that on his shoulders. I like to think that he's just playing mind games with me, as he always is.

But it's not my fault that the idiot always chooses to flaunt his life away like he's living in a dream. I try to pull him down, but he always gives me that stupid grin and skips away. As though he's that innocent.

I know he's not.


	9. Drive:: Ambitions

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 9 -- Drive

Ambitions 

That companion of mine always has such drive. It doesn't matter if it's on the topic of protecting the children, or if it's to protect someone else. He's always determined to defend them, even if it means the end of his own life.

I'd never let him do that, though. Just as Syaoran never cares for his life, my companion never does either. I suppose the child learned it from him. A bad habit, really, that I intend to break them both of, even if it kills me. Which my companion won't let happen, naturally.

It's a vicious circle, really.


	10. Breathe Again:: Restless

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 10 -- Breathe Again

_Restless_

I didn't know what to do. She was dead, and it appeared that you were in such a state of mind that you would be more than willing to kill us all.

What could I do, but call out, trying to bring you back to this hopeless reality that we all live in. You keep saying you don't want to live, but I know that deep down you do. There must be something you live for, just as there's one thing that keeps me here. That same one thing that kept me from leaving at the first opportunity. It's you.


	11. Memory:: Ruminations

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 11 -- Memory

_Ruminations_

Memories are interesting things.

They hold secrets as dark as coal and as pure as the first falling snowflake. Every so often, I remember the times we had in the beginning. How I'd tease him, and he'd yell at me. How the princess would always fall asleep, and the child would always be right by her side.

Then I remember the recent times. How I lost my eye, how he saved me, how the princess left, how the child wasn't as we thought.

Memories are interesting things. They can remind one of the past and speak of the undying future.


	12. Insanity:: Rehabilitation

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 12 -- Insanity

_Rehabilitation_

He drives me absolutely insane. Sometimes I just can't take that inane chattering of his, the constant teasing and torment, his mad giggles as I yell at him to knock it off. Sometimes, he'd even get that meat bun in on it. Just because he knew it would piss me off.

He drives me absolutely insane. Sometimes I just can't stand that way he always gives me the most fictitious of smiles, a light greeting, and pretends that he doesn't want to die. Sometimes, he'd call me by my full name. Just because he knew it would piss me off.


	13. Misfortune:: Hitsuzen

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 13 -- Misfortune

_Hitsuzen_

It was unfortunate, really, to see him lose his most prized possession to the hands of that witch. Granted, it was part of the deal. I gave up my seal, he gave up his sword, and the child gave up his relationship. It was all "hitsuzen," as she so aptly put it.

And gradually, he began to live without it. He began to live without killing. It was misfortune to be sent away against his will, but fortune to meet us, and begin the very healing process his princess meant. And now, I see that "hitsuzen" isn't so bad, really.


	14. Smile:: Resolute

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 14 -- Smile

_Resolute_

His smile. Always so sweet and inviting. Always so calm and undisturbed. Always so erroneous.

His smile. Forever unfaltering, even at moments when one would think that he'd be troubled, or at least somewhat emotive about the situation. Unwavering, though he knows that I can see through it.

It's for the children, I know. So they don't think something's wrong. I know they're not that naïve, but it makes him feel better about himself. I know he's not nearly as innocent as he is originally perceived.

Maybe one day I'll see his real smile, if even for merely a moment.


	15. Silence:: Restrictions

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 15 -- Silence

Restrictions 

As of late, there's been quite a few awkward moments between the two of us. I'd sit beside him, he beside me, and there would little movement. The odd cough, here and there, but not a word between us. I'm not sure if it's due to my initial words to him, or if the silence just grew over time.

It could be a good thing: a deeper level of communication; a mental bond. But I have a feeling that it may be due purely to my spontaneous, albeit expected, change in personality. He doesn't realise I just took his advice.


	16. Questioning:: Hunger

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 16 -- Questioning

Hunger 

'What the hell is wrong with you?' I want to yell. I want to take his apathetic shoulders and shake him until he finally breaks down, explaining what little thought must go into those laughable feelings he has. I want to beat him until he bleeds, and curls into that tiny ball.

I want to comfort him. I want to take him in my arms, hold him, and let him cry into my neck. I want to kiss away his every pain, I want to fight away his every fear, I want to let him explain when comes the time.


	17. Blood:: Phobic

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 17 -- Blood

Phobic 

I felt the blood running down my face, my heart racing faster and faster in a vain attempt to pump to the rest of my body. My breath grew quick; a tickle in the back of my throat set off a series of loud coughs, my body. Any such effort was a waste of time.

Just as easily as I had felt my eye leave my body, and my magic with it, I felt my life leaving with every slight cough or movement. I would do anything to just die. Yet still, he saved my life. The life I wasted.


	18. Rainbow:: Gaudy

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 18 -- Rainbow

Gaudy 

That man is a fucking kaleidoscope of colourful emotions.

One moment, he could be bouncing around the room, laughing his head off in that way of his, the next, moping in a corner. And not jokingly, either. He's practically manic-depressive, honestly. Just the teeniest wrong word will send him off in a rainbow of sensitivities.

He's certainly lively, that's obviously a given. As I get to know him, though, he tends to become quieter and more reserved, As though he fears my discovering something of grave importance. Something that would change that rainbow of sensitivities and emotions until the end.


	19. Grey:: Hues

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 19 – Grey

Hues 

Me and him, we're like black and white. We're veritable opposites, if there were ever a way to describe it. Right down to the way we dress, him in black, me in white. There's always an obvious distance, or a difference, between us.

As time goes on, I learn things about him, and him about me. My style of dress changes, leaning further towards his, yet that distance remains. It seems that the closer we get, the further we drift apart.

I hate how opposites always attract. And the closer I get to becoming like him, the worse it feels.


	20. Fortitude:: Mentality

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 20 -- Fortitude

Mentality 

It doesn't matter who you are, if you're alive, you're not weak.

Just because you lost a limb, a skill, or an eye, you're just as strong as you were before. Strength is not just the type determined by muscles and bulk; mental strength is just as, if not, better.

I'm not strong. Not like you are, at least. I can kill a thousand men in a night, but I couldn't bear to hold everything in like that. You can spend your life running from things no one understands. I just sit by and watch, misunderstanding. It's funny, isn't it?


	21. Vacation:: Placidity

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 21 -- Vacation

Placidity 

I've always thought of this as a sort of vacation. Not the kind you take to some exotic country, where you get treated to pleasurable cocktails by a beach, but the kind you take to better yourself.

In a sense, it was. I met new people, learned about them and learned to love them in their own ways. Sometimes, yes, I wish it were a relaxing trip, sprinkled with cocktails and beautiful people, instead of death and misfortune.

But if it were, I wouldn't love it nearly as much as I do. And I wouldn't love him nearly as much.


	22. Mother Nature:: Acid

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 22 -- Mother Nature

Acid 

Of all the worlds we'd visited so far, that was by far the worst.

Why? Mother Nature's a bitch.

I'm not totally sure what they did there, but to make rain so acidic it burned through anything, they must have certainly pissed her off. It must have been an omen of things to come, though, of which we barely took heed. I'd almost thank Wei Fang, if it weren't for prior misdemeanours on his part, for preventing us from going to such worlds.

It's hard to believe that, were it not for the brat, Fai'd be normal, at least somewhat.


	23. Cat:: Catnap

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 23 -- Cat

Catnap 

I stretched out over the table happily, arching my back. I knew he was there, watching me from the shade, as I rolled over, curling into a small ball of joy. I knew he thought it was weird, how I could fall asleep so easily on a picnic table because of a mere sunbeam. I don't think he realises just how comfortable and warm sunbeams are, though.

It's a loss, really. I would've enjoyed curling up next to him for a nice catnap in the sunbeam. It would be so much better if he loosened up, just for a while.


	24. No Time:: Lovers

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 24 -- No Time

Lovers 

There's no time for this, I insist. He ignores me, and continues. I feel myself getting flustered, as his lips flutter gently over my collarbone, his lithe fingers stroking the back of my neck. The children are expecting us, I tell him, my breath caught in my throat, lowering my voice to barely a whisper.

He pauses, whispering into my neck. He pulls away, his face falling. I know I've hurt him, but I do nothing to soothe his pain.

I'll give him my attention later, when the threat of the brat is gone. Then I'll soothe his abiding pain.


	25. Trouble Lurking:: Caught

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 25 -- Trouble Lurking

Caught 

He hated my teasing, he hated my incessant flirting, and to be quite honest, he hated practically everything about me.

Yet, something about me seems to intrigue that mind of his, as though I'm a challenge of sorts. So, when he gets it into his mind that he's going to break me of my various bad habits, it's virtually impossible to prevent his forceful kisses and caresses. Not even the idea of the princess and the other lurking just around the corner is enough to deter him.

I'm quite fond of the idea of being caught in the act, though.


	26. Tears:: Shiver

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 26 -- Tears

Shiver 

His lip trembles. His body shakes. With those images in mind, I can't help but melt my disdainful exterior. Before, I would have cared for nothing more than to break that blithe smile. Now, that choked sob drives deep into my heart. More so, because I know I'm the cause of it.

I move closer, but he turns away. I try to loop a reassuring arm around him, but he shrugs me away. A tear rolls down his cheek, and I quickly brush it away, catching his chin with my hand. Eyes meet, and he sobs again. I apologise, again.


	27. Foreign:: Languages

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 27 -- Foreign

Languages 

They must have gone too far. Further than we expected.

At least they could communicate.

I waved wildly again, wearing my usual cheery smile. He stared at me blankly from where he sat, reading that magazine he always had. I could tell he couldn't understand my wordless motions, so I gave speech another try. Sure enough, words came out, but his expression didn't change.

I gave a deep, exasperated sigh, then strode over to him, nudging his magazine from his legs. He complied, and I straddled him, settling onto his lap, my arms around his waist. It was so tiring.


	28. Sorrow:: Lies

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 28 -- Sorrow

Lies 

Everyone has sorrow. There's no way to avoid it. I'd be lying, if I said I had none, but at least I don't prance around claming that everything is lovely and full of sunshine. He's too childish to be able to fool anyone with that. I think that's why the children believe it.

Not me. I see right through. I see him when he thinks no one is watching, when he breathes deeply, wishing with all his heart to just die and rid us of potential threats. I'd never let him, though.

Not when it would cause so much sorrow.


	29. Happiness:: Nerves

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 29 -- Happiness

Nerves 

Sometimes, happiness for some lies where anger lies for others. I realised this quickly, when our journey began at the home of the witch, when I found my teasing was quite the annoyance. Nevertheless, I continued. Our journey would likely last ages. If he didn't get used to affection, he would never do with us.

Nowadays, I find that happiness for some lies where nerves take hold of another. Maybe it's backward, but I find him happiest when I'm wracked with nerves. It's not that he enjoys my suffering, I know. He just enjoys my finally admitting to be human.


	30. Under the Rain:: Perceptions

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 30 -- Under the Rain

Perceptions 

I glanced up, around the thick branches of the umbrella-like tree. The rain didn't look like it would let up any time soon. I looked back down, at the quietly slumbering blond on my chest. He had curled up there, shortly after we found ourselves caught in the rain with nowhere else to run.

I smiled. He was almost angelic, asleep, especially compared to his almost frantic, forced happiness. He must have been imagining something far more desirable than being here, otherwise he would probably be awake, bothering me with incessant nicknames.

It gave me time to think. About him.


	31. Flowers:: Family

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 31 -- Flowers

Family 

Once again, we were left on our own, tending to the small apartment we'd rented from a kind woman upon our arrival.

I kept to myself, keeping busy with the usual tasks: sweeping, washing, and whatnot. We had a comfortable lifestyle there, neat and respectable. It fit my mental description of our group, a family with a stay-at-home mother, a loving father, and two children.

I organised the flowers in a vase on the table, when I felt his hand around me, turning me around.

He always hated that description of it. But when we're alone, he never denies it.


	32. Night:: Bump

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Challenge: 32 -- Night

Bump 

I try to keep people as out of my business as I can. Unfortunately, every so often, there's the odd person who tries to force his way in, in any way possible.

I lay on my back, unmoving, in the dark. It was a quiet night, one like many others. He was lying in a bed elsewhere, the security of which allowed me to try to sleep with ease. Even so, it seemed he had the stealth of a ninja.

A quiet scuffle of bare feet against carpet. A warm touch, wrapping around my torso.

Go away, I told him.


End file.
